Thursday, November 15, 2012

"i know this pretty rave girl .."


dubstep is more than music to me . and raves are more than techno-parties . dubstep is every powerful emotion you feel - anger , passion , sadness , happiness - turned into sound . it's raw , it's in your face , it's dirty , it's YOUTH . a rave isn't just the new hip scene , it's not just the night all the weirdos show up at the club , it's home to me . i don't even have to be fucked up to feel the warmness rush over me when i step into a rave . i see the lights , feel the bass and the bodyheat , smell the sweat and blunt smoke , and i'm ready to rage my ass off .

my best friend is the one who introduced me to this wonderful world . smoking weed is the basis of our friendship , so i'll just call her Jane or MJ on here . she's , like , definition of "pretty rave girl." skinny as hell too . she's giving me all her old jeans since she just went down a size , so i gotta get these fat legs ready for size 1 skinnies . i wanted to get under 110 by my birthday in december , surely by then i'll go down a jean size !!

i just want so badly to stand by MJ and feel like we're a pair , not like i'm the fat sidekick to the cute hippie chick . i wanna dance at raves without worrying about my thighs wobbling while i'm moving or about looking fat in my booty shorts . i just wanna be free . i just wanna be thin .

now , when i stand , my knees touch , but my calves and thighs don't . it's barely a gap , but it's there . i'm getting there . i'll be happy someday .

stay strong , think thin , live ana
xoxoNikkioxox
@sickk_nikki
(make sure if you follow me on twitter , tweet to me so i know who my blog followers are !! :) )

12 comments:

  1. Good luck with getting into your rave jeans. I'm slowly approaching my goal. Too slow, but at least I'm not going backwards any more!

    <3

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  2. I've never been to rave before. Always wanted to go and felt it would be a great place to feel free and escape, but there aren't any around here. Only thing popular around here are clubs. What they call a club here is essentially just a bar with loud music and lots of gab. No dance space whatsoever = a bore :P

    What Peri said! Good luck with the rave pants!!! You can do it! *hugs*

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  3. i totally know what you mean about dubstep, I've been into the scene for about 2 years now and I swear, every time i hear a dirty, dirty drop the sickest of smiles spreads across my face as my body thrashes with the bass and my hands pound out the rhythm in the air like it's an invisible energy force, malleable in my hands... God it's exhilarating!
    Great music to listen to when you work out as well! Warm up during the chase, and then once the bass drops go double time girl!! Work it out!! :)
    Zeds Dead is definitely among my favourite, I'm going to see them (for the 3rd time) in 2 weeks and I can't wait!! I'll think of you when they're on set! :)

    Congrats on the thigh gap!! That's such a great step, and such a good feeling of accomplishment. Hang on to that.

    I'm also a good friend of Mary Jane... the herb that is. The high you get when you've been starving for days and hit a bong is fantastic. Like you're floating and happy and nothing can touch you. Just remember to hold onto that feeling because if you eat, it will go away. And once you start eating when you're high; there's no stopping, especially for people like us! And usually you forget to drink lots while binging since you're stoned so it can make for a messy messy after clean up if you know what I mean...

    Wishing you all the best!
    love always,
    xoxo

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    1. haha i was smiling reading this !! the way you described the feeling of listening to dubstep is spot on . i'm a fan of zed's dead as well , but i'd have to say figure and datsik are my favorites . and you're so right , it's great for working out !! i literally just dance now and throw in some crunches and pushups instead of going to the gym , and i find it a lot more enjoyable AND effective . trap music especially , if you've heard of that subgenre , is FANTASTIC for dancing . it's like , if african tribes had turntables lol .

      i know what you mean about weed too !! one of the things that motivates me to starve is knowing that the less i eat , the higher i'll get . luckily my apartment rarely has an abundance of food and i'm too broke for fast food so i don't have to battle the munchies as often . sometimes i'll allow myself a jawbreaker or jolly rancher or something like that to suck on , and it knocks those cravings right out !!!!

      it's nice to know there's anas out there who are on my level , we should chat sometime :D

      stay strong , think thin , live ana
      xoxoNikkioxox

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  4. You've got good taste... :) I'm dancing around to Nero's 'Crush on You' right now, oldie but a goodie!! I've never heard of trap, I'll definitely check it out though! Have you heard of Drumstep? It's pretty cool too, less electronic and more deep tribal drums almost the drops are hard and heavy; very rhythmic.

    hahah that's exactly how I think when I'm stoned!! "Don't eat yet, you'll be less high and ruin it all.."

    I'd love to chat, if you want throw me an e-mail at: thebeautyofbones@hotmail.ca
    Currently I'm sick with the flu and restricting to about 600ish, but obviously since I'm sick it's been hard to eat that much... such a shame ;)
    love always,
    xoxo

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  5. sounds similar !! i've heard of drum&bass , but not drumstep . definately gotta give that a listen .

    i'll shoot you an email , ttys !!

    xoxoNikkioxox

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  6. Nominated you for a blog award if you want to swing by my blog and read it/pick it up :) xx

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  7. You have been nominated for the Liebster Blog Award! <3
    http://the-beauty-of-bones.blogspot.ca/2012/11/the-liebster-blog-award.html
    love always,
    loveylou
    xoxo

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  8. thank you for the nominations !! :)))

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  9. Hey Nikki,
    Been following your blog for a while now anonymously, just wanted to say thank you so much for sharing. :)
    E.

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  10. Reading that was like a revelation,like reading something I'd have written,I have a friend who I could also refer to as Mj,I hope you reach your goal! Thank you for your post!

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  11. might I add that most importantly I'm also losing weight,my waist is shrinking by the day,waking up with my stomach growling is the perfect morning for me! I too want to feel great in my own skin and nothing is going to stop me! #Pro-ana

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