in regards to a comment on a previous post , which was a link to a holier-than-thou i'minrecoverysoyoushouldbetoo bitch's blogs , which called me "complete and utter filth" and a "scared, self loathing, suicidal person," and went on to list all the terrifying side effects of anorexia , which i had never heard before and were all completely believable and backed up by reputable sources (can you sense the sarcasm steaming out of my ears?) .
people like that INFURIATE me . they think recovery is so glamorous , makes them so much better than us . well guess what bitches , you're fatter than most of us too . and you're doing exactly the thing that led us to flee to ana's arms in the first place : putting us down . how dare you talk shit on pro-anas when you KNOW that we clearly have very little self-esteem ? how dare you go around the internet attacking us , rather than focusing on your precious "recovery" and your own lives? calling us filth , disgusting , evil , or whathaveyou is only going to make our problems worse . in fact , i was honestly shocked at the brutal language of the introduction to this recoveryfreak's post.
so , dear "pro-recovery" saints ,
LEMME MAKE THIS CLEAR :
I DO NOT BLOG TO GLORIFY ANOREXIA , AS YOU CAN CLEARLY READ IN MY DISCLAIMER AT THE BOTTOM .
this post was not meant to tell other people , "HEY !! LOOK AT ME !! THIS IS EXACTLY HOW YOU SHOULD THINK AND WHAT YOU SHOULD DO !!!! JOIN THE RANKS AND DESTROY YOUR LIFE JUST LIKE ME !!!!!!!"
fuck no .
this is a poem that i wrote when i was feeling deeply depressed about my disorder . on that day , i gave up on fighting it . it's not about joining the ana lifestyle , it's about already being there and realizing that you can never escape , so you might as well do what ana says because that makes life a little less miserable when she isn't screaming in your head .
to me , "pro ana" is not about encouraging EDs . when i say that i am "pro ana ," i mean the same thing as i do when i say that i'm an LGBT ally : it's a label that implies membership to a judgement-free community , in this case a community of people with eating disorders . i wrote a paper on the topic for english class last year that i've been meaning to post on this blog , but i'll save that speech for another day . for now , just know this :
i would not wish this sickness , this burdon , this miserable excuse for a life upon a single human soul .
stay strong , think thin , live ana