Tuesday, May 24, 2011

"how we survive is what makes us who we are."

by the end of the summer, this quote will be sitting on my hip in permanent ink. i'll take every jolt of pain from that needle in my skin with pride. why? because this quote rings so true for me, it's a philosophy that i live by every day. my past, my struggles, my battles, won or lost, are all just the elements that have shaped me into the person that i am today. am i proud of my mistakes? no. but i'm not ashamed of my past. that's why i'm not going to delete this blog, even if it is exposed by some anonymous little pussyshit. why wait for the opportune moment, anon? you're no threat to me. i'm putting this eating disorder behind me, for good. this blog isn't an opportunity for blackmail, it's a document of my past. it's truth, raw and real. it's a place that has given me a sense of community during the times when i've felt most alone. it's helped me survive what my life has thrown at me. i am not ashamed of these words that i've published over the months and months that this blog has been alive.

my name is sammi, and i am a recovering EDNOS sufferer.


  1. there is no shame in it! raw and real that is more than 'healthy' people can say ,don't stop posting please .u are strong and not alone XOXO good luck w/ recovery sammi

  2. Hey sweetie. That's a good quote. I'm getting "beautiful" and "love" inked on me. Words to live by.

    So you're recovering? That's really good to hear! I hope you do well with it, good luck hon!!

  3. im so proud of you, your such a strong chick. we will be here every step of the way.

  4. Sammi is a beautiful name <3 I'm proud of your ability to put this past you. You're a stronger girl than we are. I hope, at least, that you keep up with this blog, even if it's definitely not a pro-ana blog anymore. Tell us how your life is going, how you're succeeding on your new path. You can become a new lifeline for those of us that continue to suffer. A girl that really does know what it's like, not like the 'professionals' that don't truly understand us. A true inspiration.

  5. /applause

    Strong is not the word.

    Behind you all the way girl! x

  6. I'm so happy for you Nikki, you are such an inspiration. You are so self-strong I hope you know this about yourself. You have accomplished SO much and your blog has definately kept me going. This is something to be PROUD of, the help you have given so many girls all over the world. For every one person telling you that you should live with shame there are HUNDREDS telling you, 'THANKYOU!'
    I wish you all the best and do hope you continue your road to recovery on this blog, so we can all keep up.
    Love always,
    Ana's Angel

  7. that is such a beautiful tattoo. i'm so happy for you, you seem so optimistic, and you should be! you deserve to feel happy. i'm proud of you. you are an inspiration.

  8. I wish you the very best in your recovery. Will you keep us updated on that as well? I'd love to hear about it.

  9. Brava, Sammi.
    I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors, whether you end up back in Her arms or not

  10. Hey! I just fOund out your blog and I am surprised... I am from mexico and my sister gone through the same as you, "ana" and "mia" as you said are raw and real. I'm learning english so I can be able to cantact people like you.
    You've been through a lot of things... I just feel so happ for you and what you wrote in this post
    It is an inspiration for me...

    I just send you a friend request in facebook, I hope you to add me.

    Good luck. :)

  11. Meh. Still gonna do it.
    It's not so much that you have an eating disorder... because you don't. You're still fat! Plus it took you like, what, two years to loose 40 fucking pounds? HAHA. And you're labeling yourself with an eating disorder? Puh-leaze.

  12. @The anonymous above me:
    You are such a bitch. Do you know anything about eating disorders? Do you know what EDNOS is? Do you know what a hell it is?

  13. Bwaaaaaaaaaahahaha, Anon#3 is sucking a fucking retard. Please tell me they're faking that level of ignorance! Honestly bitch, how did you learn to write without overtaxing your pitiful few braincells?


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