pulled a wake-n-bake this morning. god i love weed. even after the actual high wears off, i still just feel overall calmer for the rest of the day. i love this chill feeling.
it was perfect timing, too. this morning from the moment i woke up all i could think about is how ugly i am. after rolling out of bed and taking a piss, at the first glance i caught of myself in the mirror i just wanted to break down. every single little flaw was just screaming at me for some reason.
but if you smoke two bowls before school with your boyfriend and a puerto rican, all of that anxiety goes away.
i was supposed to go get a battery for my scale today, but then the stupid snow started. so my dad wouldn't let me take the car. damn snow. it's so pretty, and i love it, but it's getting in my damn way lately.
valentine's dance will be here before i know it. i'm going to try to keep that in mind and lose as much as i can before then. at least 10lbs. that would put me in the 120s. i'm making myself all these little notes and signs and printing out thinspo to tape all over the back of my door. i'll have to take them down when i'm not here, of course, but they'll keep me motivated while i'm home. i'm gonna start a new thinspo vid too, i haven't made one in forever and a half.
well, off to do some crunches, have a smoke, and hit the sack. night everyone!
stay strong, think thin, live ana
(p.s. weedspo is my newfound love. badass shit right there. weedspo wednesday may become a regular :D)