Monday, January 10, 2011


i did this months ago. the last time i slipped up.

i'm so fucking close to doing it again.

i think i need pills. but even if i could get my dad to notice me for long enough to tell him, he can't afford it. he can't even afford to get divorced. apparently the credit card companies are psycho-calling the other house. he's going to declare bankrupcy soon. he has enough on his plate. does he really need a crazy daughter on top of that?

and i don't want to become some wacked-out pill zombie.

i'm just terrified. of everything.


  1. Pills? Like ssri's? May e I'm misreading it, but they usually don't whack you out and there's usually generic brands that are pretty cheap. Try it, if you think it will help. The one I'm on (lexapro) is also for anxiety and should help your panic attacks. Maybe you should give it a go.

    I hope your feeling better now, I guess curl up with Ana and take a deep breath. Thinking of you <3

  2. so sorry babygirl. big fan of the nail polish color. maybe paint your nails bright red instead of cutting? i've no room to judge though. i have cuts all over the bottom of my feet right now. hang in there. i hope things get better soon for you. you deserve it.


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