Monday, January 3, 2011

new year, naughty girl, no food

first off, new years resolutions:
  • lose weight quickly and consistently until i reach my goal weight of 105 (duh) (key words: quickly and consistently)
  • start jogging or walking on the treadmill every day
  • start doing nightly crunches again (at least 100/night)
  • NOT fuck things up with drew
  • party more :)
  • survive my first semester of college
  • toke with all the friends i keep saying i need to toke with
  • try shrooms
  • get my first tattoo and first facial piercing
  • become that mysterious sexy waif image of myself i've always wanted to be
what are your resolutions?

complete topic switch, but my head's a swirl of emotions right now. to be blunt, me and drew have been sexting for over 6 hours. it started out just "oh i'm in a make out mood" type shit. then it progressed. and kept going and going until he was suggesting doing things that we haven't even done yet. i expected him to talk about third base, cuz that's the next step. but he wants to go further than that... when he said he wanted to eat me out, i was surprised, excited, and slightly stressed... cuz if he does that to me, i feel like i'm expected to return the favor. and i've never done that before, and honestly the idea of a blowjob grosses me out. as much as i trust him and honestly i already think i could lose my virginity to him later on, this scares the hell out of me. because i have no idea what i'm doing. i'm a newb, and i don't want to disappoint. i don't even know how to act around a boyfriend in general, how am i supposed to figure out all the sex stuff? i'm two years older, but i'm the naive one, and it's kinda scary to be in that situation. i'm so used to being experienced, confident.

i mean, fuck, we sent eachother pictures. i can't help that i'm a horny individual and let my hormones take over very easily. maybe in the moment i'll forget all my worries. but until then?

and is this too fast? tomorrow will be the 3 week mark... i just don't want to fuck things up. i've just fallen for him so hard and so fast, and part of me feels ready to go further. part of me just knows that there's a very good chance that this is it, the real deal, the one.

decisions, decisions... a nice liquid fast will surely clear my head.

speaking of liquids, i've heard a new trick that i'm going to try. if you take your current weight in pounds, divide it by 2, and drink that many ounces of water a day, it helps you lose hella weight. alex said that someone who she knows who is a sports therapist told her about it, and she's been doing it, and it works. for example: i weigh about 138lbs. so i would drink 69oz of water a day. i'm going to start this as soon as i find a water bottle that tells me how many ounces is in it (i don't buy bottled water, i need to go buy a new water bottle, i'm eco friendly).

sorry this post was so attention deficit... just one of those days.

stay strong, think thin, live ana


  1. Do what you feel comfortable with with drew... Don't push yourself and get upset but go with it if you are ok with it.. And if you are nervous about not knowing what you're doing... Just say so, he'll understand. In terms of the speed, every couple is different... With my current boyfriend everything went soo fast, but now we've been together 2 and a half years and live together. Had exes where it was months but didn't work out. So as corny as it sounds, listen to your heart, if it feels right then it probably is right.

    I like quickly and consistently losing weight, i think that should be one of my goals.

  2. I wasn't experienced with my boyfriend (and trust me, he fucking well was) it was kinda weird coz heas nearly 5 months younger... To be honest, I odnt remember going too far at first.. I guess it was more dry humping XD then after our first christmas together (we'd been together about 3 ish months by that point) I decided to try that sorta stuff. So I dont htink you should rush into it. I lost my virginity to him at the 10-11 month mark, so by that point i really trusted him etc XD

    I hope you decide whats best for you :)

  3. If you're reall yconcerned about being bad at a copious amounts of porn involving bjs. (honestly, that is how i learned to give my first bj, and guys have said i am amazing, so the vids must work!!)

    as for the water thing, I totally just calculated mine, it said i should drink 60 oz which (since im in canada around 1.8 litres) which is less that i drink a day! It makes you pee alot, which flushes your system amazingly, but it doesn'T really do much if you still eat "normally", but if youre eating low low cals then of course it helps a bit. helps you not bloat too
    xoxo CJ

  4. Honey don't worry about the bj thing, I mean hell, I mean he knows right? That you're still a virgin and stuff like that?
    I mean I gave M. my very first blowjob a fewk weeks ago and well I was shitting it, but there is not much you can do wrong honestly. Just don't clash your jaws together and you'll be fine ;)
    Do what makes you feel comfortable though, and if you are not sure about that step, the best thing is to tell him. You don't want to have regrets, because in the very beginning those regrets can honestly fuck things up, BIG TIME.

    The water thing sounds amaaaaazing!! Calculating and figuring things out RIGHT AWAY! this excites me far too much. Hell I am pathetic.

    Honey you're strong, and beautiful and determined, make sure to stay on the right path. And the only right path is the path you feel comfortable walking, to thing that makes you happy.

    :) Take care honey, let us know who/where/what/when ;)

    Love, x


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