Sunday, December 19, 2010

"you're starving yourself."

so today, my school's marching band performed at the football game downtown. while we were in the stands, a big group of my friends left to get food, and i went with them. when i didn't get anything, i said i wasn't hungry, and didn't have any money anyways. out of nowhere, one of my friends (who knows a bit about my disorder) said "you're not dieting, nikki, you're starving yourself and it's bad for you!"

i didn't say a word. i just turned and stormed off, found a different group of friends. i was so pissed off, and embarassed. it'd be one thing if he'd pulled me aside, or waited until he could get me alone, or texted me, but he said it in front of EVERYONE. no one said anything about it the rest of the day, so i guess i got off the hook. but still.

when i confronted him about it, he said he was joking. but that's bullshit. it doesn't even make sense.

still, i got by with eating nothing today. and tomorrow me, katerina and alex are all hanging out. i'm pretty excited. it's the first time the three of us have all hung out together. a little ana trio. (make sure to check out kat's blog!)

i've gotten some questions and comments about my artwork and music. Fortune's Fool particularly wanted to know about my art. basically, i've always been a decent artist, i could draw a decent picture and took a couple art classes in middle school. this year was the first year i had room for art in my schedule in high school, and basically just being in the classroom setting and being TAUGHT techniques and having my artistic limits pushed has really helped me develop quickly as an artist. i've noticed a lot of improvement in my work since august. when i have time, i'll post some more pictures of my work.

as for music, i know a lot of you want to hear it. my only concern is that if i advertise my youtube videos on this blog, i'll end up with comments on my videos that mention ana or people using their ana youtube accounts to subscribe to my channel. i want to share my music with all of you, but i don't want to get discovered over it. i'm really debating this issue.

well, until next time lovelies.

stay strong, think thin, live ana


  1. Yay! Excellent. Thankyou. I'd love to see some of your works sometime.
    I think I'm kind of similar to what you're saying: You try out something new (say, painting for me), and it doesn't really work, until someone comes along and says "hey, try it this way, have a go at doing this". And you go, "Oh great. I get it now, let me work with this".
    Anyway...moving on (I do get caught up in art).
    That comment from you friend was harsh. I wish people could be just a little more understanding and sensitive.

  2. Oh honey, I think you're an amazing person and I can't believe what that guy said. Not only does he sound like a huge idiot, HOW RUDE of him to just say that in front of the whole group, and pretend that it's a joke after that.
    I would have kicked him in the nuts. Possibly.

    Don't let that friend get you down, and don't let them get to you.

    Love, x

  3. I have a friend just like urs, its like he doesnt even think before things like that come out of his mouth, and there is no way he is "joking", gr.


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