Thursday, December 9, 2010

lesson of the day: be careful what you wish for


last night, dan admitted to a mutual friend that he does, in fact, like me. i'm not one of the three girls he was talking about, but when the friend was asking about the twizzler game, he said, "yeah i kinda like her lol." so i was right that he lied to austin, but it's not like i'm on the top of his priority list.

then today i got a facebook message from the new guy that i mentioned before, saying, simply "errr uh nikki i like you a lot lol."

now there's two of them.

now i have to make a choice...

i know i'm probably going to change my mind a billion and one times before everything gets settled, but right now i'm hoping to just get to know the new guy better so buy time to get dan out of my system. i don't want to be with the new guy and still have dan on the back of my mind, wondering, "what if?" i still really want to kiss him. like a real kiss, not just in a game. i'll never stop wondering about it until it happens.

i also wonder what's the difference in my ability to trust each. i mean i've mentioned things to dan once in a while, but nothing about my ED, more about my past. he has no idea what things are like now. and i've never really had a deep conversation with the new guy. and that kind of thing makes a difference with me, how much i can trust a person. by instinct the new guy seems trustable, but i'm not sure. i'm not entirely sure of anything.

another question, dan's already invited to my birthday party this weekend. we're going to play the twizzler game again. do i invite the new guy too? if dan weren't going i would, but do i really want both of them there?

wow. my life.

stay strong, think thin, live ana
xoxoNikkioxox

3 comments:

  1. hey :) ive suffered w ed for 10 years.. now im happy, having a blast and staying positive and focusing on that.. and still stay thin. Maybe u can find a lil inspiration :)
    follow me please n ill follow u <3
    www.funlovingliving.blogspot.com

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  2. One or the other at the party girl! The other guy sounds a bit more dependable but you seem to like Dan more. Try to get
    to know the new guy and see how itngoes at the party with Dan?

    Xo hope you're doing good... Sounds like you are caught up with too many boy troubles for much else!!!

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