Saturday, November 27, 2010
truth or dare, being a bitch, and the return of katerina
the first day i was at the lake, dan and i played truth or dare for 12 hours over text. at one point he asked me if i thought he was attractive. i told him yes, and then asked him the same. he said yes and i fell asleep smiling.
the next day, we were goofing off and the following conversation ensued. him: "shut up." me: "make me." him: "maybe i will." me: "how?" him: "well i could do it the nice way or the mean way..." me: "what do you mean?" him: (after some coaxing on my part) "well the nice way would be that i'd shut you up with my lips and the mean way i would shut you up with my dick..." me: "and which one of those would you actually try?" him: "lol probably the first one."
then later that night he brought the game back. i picked truth, as always, and he asked: "when we hang out, can i shut you up?"
i'm giddy over this boy. ridiculously. it's gonna happen it's gonna happen it'sgonnahappen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but, as you've seen in my history, i can't have something good happen without it being balanced out with something bad. so, of course underneath all the daydreaming with dan, molly drama was stirring. basically we got into an argument on thanksgiving and with it being a holiday and all i texted her before i went to bed saying that i was sorry and i was just in a bad mood because i hate thanksgiving for obvious reasons. the next morning i had a text from her saying, "i've heard you say sorry too many times, i think we need a break from eachother for a while, blah blah blah." so i told her, "wow. don't bother. i hope [the new girl] has fun putting up with all your shit cuz i'm done." she shot back, "and i hope whoever you end up with realizes what a BIG BITCH YOU ARE :) dueces, nicole." i was furious. i told her, "it's funny you're the only one who thinks i'm a bitch when everyone i know thinks you're a controlling psycho!" and it went on all day from there...
when i found out she'd posted her status as: "apparently i'm a controlling psycho according to my ex," all hell broke loose. i didn't give a shit about her feelings anymore. when she called at one in the morning, i didn't hold back. i told her she was a lot to blame that i developed an ED in the first place. i told her i relapsed. told her i was back into cutting for a while. she refused to see herself as having any fault in anything at all. in the end she swore she still cared about me, swore she'd come around again and be a good friend, told me she loved me and said goodnight. i hung up the phone and muttered a "fuckin' whatever..." under my breath before falling asleep.
anyways, KATERINA IS BACK! check out her blog, http://paper--thin.blogspot.com/.
you can also check out my two new thinspo vids here and here.
time to fast away all my thanksgiving gluttony... FUCK YOU PILGRIMS!!
stay strong, think thin, live ana
at 4:01 PM