Tuesday, November 23, 2010

"i think i just had a food-gasm."

i'm 138 now. i absolutely love this feeling, having every day a new low. feeling closer and closer to skinny. i'm happier. whenever i lay down my hipbones pop out so much more than before. and when i stretch back i can see my ribs just under the surface... i'll be posting pictures when i get back, i promised a long time ago i was going to start doing that once a month.

i'm going on vacation for thanksgiving break, so i won't be back until monday. hopefully i won't gain much... as long as i don't go back into the 140s, i'll be okay. i'm going to have to do a lot of purging for the next 5 days. i don't want to, but i have no other choice... i love going to my grandparents' lake house. i just hate eating 3 fucking meals a day while i'm there. ugh.

i watched a couple documentaries on youtube. this first one is an HBO documentary called THIN. it follows four girls going through treatment at an eating disorder inpatient facility. the facility itself is full of ignorant fucks and fat nurses, but the girls were very interesting, and thinspiring. the youngest, brittany, went from 198 to under 100 in a year.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF0lAlo80fU

this one just pissed me off and made me laugh at the same time. it's a BBC documentary about pro ana.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnR-PxboxdI&feature=related

i've also discovered a love of food porn. it's a bit of a new thing, it's not as popular as thinspo or reverse thinspo. basically you look at pretty pictures of food instead of eating it. there was a thread on prettythin.com about it and it's just so satisfying. it really is like porn. only instead of fantasizing sex, you're fantasizing food. and, like porn, it's satisfying enough to tide you over. for some people it triggers them into eating, but for most (judging by what people said in the thread), it actually curbs hunger.

it also cracked me up when one girl on the thread said, "i think i just had a food-gasm."

happy thanksgiving!

stay strong, think thin, live ana
xoxoNikkioxox

6 comments:

  1. Definately going to watch thin! Luck for thanksgiving, hope you stay in the 140's <3 also totally post pics!

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  2. Ohh lovely, going to watch both of em tonight, bet the first one will be VERY thinspiring :D
    Foodgasms? Mmmm might try that one!! Hahhaha!

    Good luck babes, have fun,

    Love, x

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  3. i loved the 'thin' documentary. the girls are all so real and the story is so interesting. the girl pauly with curly hair actually died a couple years after her release... i couldn't believe the way the nurses kicked her out.
    thanks for the links :) xox

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  4. Why do u do this shit to me whore? I'm just building my strength back up u little slut! Fuck u <3

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  5. oh you know your stomach was jacking off inside, kat :)

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  6. first of all, i love your blog :) i had to comment on this post because i loved the bit about food porn! haha i totally do it too! except i love reading recipes and comments too. it is totally weird but sometimes i even bake really yummy things and give them to my friends and family without even trying it. anyway, stay strong, you rock xoxo

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