i'm 138 now. i absolutely love this feeling, having every day a new low. feeling closer and closer to skinny. i'm happier. whenever i lay down my hipbones pop out so much more than before. and when i stretch back i can see my ribs just under the surface... i'll be posting pictures when i get back, i promised a long time ago i was going to start doing that once a month.
i'm going on vacation for thanksgiving break, so i won't be back until monday. hopefully i won't gain much... as long as i don't go back into the 140s, i'll be okay. i'm going to have to do a lot of purging for the next 5 days. i don't want to, but i have no other choice... i love going to my grandparents' lake house. i just hate eating 3 fucking meals a day while i'm there. ugh.
i watched a couple documentaries on youtube. this first one is an HBO documentary called THIN. it follows four girls going through treatment at an eating disorder inpatient facility. the facility itself is full of ignorant fucks and fat nurses, but the girls were very interesting, and thinspiring. the youngest, brittany, went from 198 to under 100 in a year.
this one just pissed me off and made me laugh at the same time. it's a BBC documentary about pro ana.
i've also discovered a love of food porn. it's a bit of a new thing, it's not as popular as thinspo or reverse thinspo. basically you look at pretty pictures of food instead of eating it. there was a thread on prettythin.com about it and it's just so satisfying. it really is like porn. only instead of fantasizing sex, you're fantasizing food. and, like porn, it's satisfying enough to tide you over. for some people it triggers them into eating, but for most (judging by what people said in the thread), it actually curbs hunger.
it also cracked me up when one girl on the thread said, "i think i just had a food-gasm."
stay strong, think thin, live ana