Sunday, November 21, 2010

healthy

i checked 8 different websites. because i just couldn't believe it. finally, at 139, my bmi is 24.6. this means i am officially in the healthy weight range. by medical terms, i am no longer considered "overweight."

holy shit.

i feel slightly less colossal, from a numbers standpoint. but looking down at myself, i still feel the same. these thighs were not meant to touch... this is progress, but not near perfection. this stomach needs to be concave. these bones need to come out of hiding. i don't want to look "healthy," i want to look "thin."

i have the whole basement to myself now. this is great for so many reasons. 1, i have plenty of privacy, which is fantastic, and allows me to go onto pro ana and thinspo sites all day long. 2, i have my own bathroom, meaning i can purge whenever necessary. 3, it's a walkout basement, meaning i can focus on that bedtime smokey snack all day instead of actual snacks.

and dan.. ahh... i can't stop thinking about him. we were up texting until 2 in the morning last night. i really hope things work out with him. i want them to. so, so badly. hopefully i'm not too fat for him to see me as more than a friend...

here's a taylor momsen vid for some thinspiration. (and can i just say, holy hot damn...!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txBfhpm1jI0&feature=channel

stay strong, think thin, live ana
xoxoNikkioxox

3 comments:

  1. Yay! Congrats on the bmi, ths awesome.the basement and Dan sound pretty awesome too =]

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  2. Aah honey congratulations!!
    You´ll get there, honestly, this is the start of something great!
    Proud of you,and so jealous, if only I had a basement to myself.. Can´t wait to move out!

    Love, x

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  3. Congratulations lovely! I wish I had a basement to myself, you're so lucky! Taylor Momsen is amazing! ♥

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