Wednesday, October 20, 2010

"i miss telling you how beautiful you are, so i'll just keep on wishing on these fucking frozen stars..."

last night, i wrote one of the best songs i've ever written. "frozen stars."
 
i'm not living
i'm simply existing
the world is cold without you
i'm wasting away
it's harder every day
i don't know what to do
 
i miss telling you how beautiful you are
so i'll just keep on wishing on these fucking frozen stars
 
please don't shut me out
don't you dare
give me a 3 word reason
to stay here
please don't forget me
don't you dare
always remember
i'll always be here
waiting for you
 
you're pulling all the strings
you tied to me
i feel like i'm ripping apart
i just miss your voice
just know you still have all of my heart
 
i miss telling you i love you just the way you are
so i'll just keep on wishing on these fucking frozen stars
 
please don't shut me out
don't you dare
give me a 3 word reason
to stay here
please don't forget me
don't you dare
always remember
i'll always be here
waiting for you
 
i wanna tell you
tell you everything
but now you're gone
just when i was gonna tell you
tell you everything
it was too late you were gone
 
please don't shut me out
don't you dare
just give me a 3 word reason
to stay here
please don't forget me
don't you dare
always remember
i'll always be here
waiting for you
 

***

 

i wrote the words, music, practiced and recorded it all in one day. that's a rarity. i put it on my ipod and can't stop listening to it. i showed a couple of my friends, and they were shocked. they think i should show her.

 

i'm seriously considering telling her everything.

 

if i do, i won't be gone from this blog. i'll still be pro ana. i just won't be fasting anymore. and i won't be lying or hiding anymore. cuz i think it's the deception that ruined our relationship. as my disorder progressed, our relationship worsened. all the things she said changed, i can attribute to this.

 

wish me luck.

 

xoxoNikkioxox

6 comments:

  1. That's a gorgeous song... I wish you could upload it so we could listen.

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  2. those lyrics are amazing, and i agree with 'keep calm', i wish we could listen

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  3. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed.

    *hugs*

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  4. Wow, that song is beautiful. I hope you are okay ♥

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  5. that song is really gorgeous. you're really talented. goodluck love

    xo

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  6. no matter what happens make the best of it.
    you arent fat trust me i have seen fat people!
    when i still went to church i met a guy named billy and he was really big he had to use two chairs and im not trying to be mean to him. even if you dont lose at least you can try not to gain. but you dont have to fast food you can eat a salad for lunch mabee, and do some workouts. there are other ways to lose wait than just not eat cause that wont work. when you stpo eating and then eat again the body takes the fat from that food and stores it so if you dont eat aginn it uses that. fasting is harmful to your body and mind, it is worse than being over weight.

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