Wednesday, September 15, 2010

some days


some days i feel so popular. everyone says hi to me and i get so many random hugs. people tell me, "oh, i was talking to so-and-so and apparently she loves you!"

so why do i constantly feel like i'm going to end up alone in this world? why do i constantly feel like everyone secretly judging me for my fat body and huge nose? why am i so goddamn paranoid all the fucking time?

last night, i think i told a random tuba player way more than i should have. i remember talking about my weight because he asked a random flute player if i was fat, to prove his point that i'm not (he's insane). i can't remember the rest of the conversation. why? cuz i was so baked it was like i was on a different planet. i woke up with wrappers in my bed. thankfully, ana was merciful. the number on the scale was the same as yesterday morning.

i'm done with this. i don't care what it takes. i will not eat solid food until homecoming. a 3 week liquid fast. it. has. to. happen.

even zack can't stop me.

stay strong, think thin, live ana
xoxoNikkioxox

4 comments:

  1. I have the same fears. It's probably because I'm always judging others that I'm afraid they do the same to me, that they'll measure my worth by the width of my waist and the flaws of/on my face.

    All the best with your fast! (:

    *hugs*

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow!A 3week liquid fast!Thats hard!But good luck! :) I"mgonna do a 3day organic juice cleanse this weekend like the celebs do!Cause when they do it they loose lik 5-10 pounda quick! then i'll start the ABC's over again and i'll keep repeating until january! :) good luck with home coming!I got to thin for this 8th graduation party so I understand your pressure!But closer to your goal than I!Thanks for being thinspiring to me like always darling! Love ya and good luck! :p

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow three weeks? Good luck hon I am keeping my fingers crossed. I know for sure that you can do it!

    Love, X

    ReplyDelete
  4. be careful, hunny. Don't let yourself get too weak with that fasting. make sure to drink some fruit juice and veggie juice as well. hang in there. i wish you the very best. *hugs*

    ReplyDelete

*** note: hater comments will be deleted ***