Wednesday, September 15, 2010
some days i feel so popular. everyone says hi to me and i get so many random hugs. people tell me, "oh, i was talking to so-and-so and apparently she loves you!"
so why do i constantly feel like i'm going to end up alone in this world? why do i constantly feel like everyone secretly judging me for my fat body and huge nose? why am i so goddamn paranoid all the fucking time?
last night, i think i told a random tuba player way more than i should have. i remember talking about my weight because he asked a random flute player if i was fat, to prove his point that i'm not (he's insane). i can't remember the rest of the conversation. why? cuz i was so baked it was like i was on a different planet. i woke up with wrappers in my bed. thankfully, ana was merciful. the number on the scale was the same as yesterday morning.
i'm done with this. i don't care what it takes. i will not eat solid food until homecoming. a 3 week liquid fast. it. has. to. happen.
even zack can't stop me.
stay strong, think thin, live ana
at 3:48 PM