Monday, August 16, 2010

update, finally

first order of business:
 
jodi, you can go fuck yourself. seriously. the hell do you think you are? if you think you're some "ana goddess" or something, whatever. you might look good in the mirror (though that's doubtful), but on the inside you're ugly as the morbidly obese. "hugs and kisses!"
 
second order of business:
 
i got dumped. again. as soon as i got to band camp i got the text, right when i got off the bus. i didn't say a word. i just dropped all my shit, ran to zack and cried into his chest. my band director (the girl one, we have like 10 directors) ended up pulling me aside during a rehearsal break and told me to take all the time i needed to calm down. all weekend i was bipolar and i cried the whole 3 hour bus ride home. thank god zack invited my tears into his shoulder. i feel like he's the only one who really has my back, who isn't blowing it off just cuz this has happened so many times before. that doesn't make it hurt any less. she says it's not forever, she just can't handle not seeing eachother, which i guess i understand. still, i wish it wouldn't have happened.
 
i'm fasting until saturday. don't give a fuck what anyone thinks. first day of school tomorrow, and i'm only 20lbs lighter than the first day last year. progress. but not enough.
 
i miss you all. hope you're doing better than i am. shoot me emails if you want to contact me, it's easier to check than my blog. lettersfromana@live.com
 
stay strong, think thin, live ana
xoxoNikkioxox

10 comments:

  1. 20lbs is quite a difference. sorry you got dropped again, darling. &i'm sorry jodi is after you, too. what an awful coward. stay strong, little miss.

    xoxo
    zette

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  2. loooove you sassy ladayyyy. school tomorrow. shoot me nowwwww. loooove you! "hugs and fucking kisses"

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  3. 20 lbs is a wonderful difference! You should be so proud darling! I'm sorry you got dumped over text, to be honest I think it's rude and disrespectful to do it over text. Yur stronger than this, good luck with your fast. ♥

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  4. 20 pounds is heaps, well done!! Wish I'd lost even ten in the last few weeks. Sucks about getting left, I hope you're ok (as ok as possible) I know it doesn't feel any better everytime it happens. Luck for your fast, sweetie =]

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  5. Honey I am so sorry :(
    You've done such a great great job, amazing! Don't let this get you down, you have already proven that you can do this!

    Good luck with your first day of school hon!
    Love,
    A.Stone

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  6. 1. Jodi's a bitch.
    2. Breakups are unfathomably frustrating.
    3. 20 lbs is incredible, even if it wasn't your goal.
    4. I'm glad you have Zack... Everyone deserves someone like that in their lives. Someone who just *gets* it.
    5. You will do INCREDIBLE on your fast! Don't let anyone get you down.

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  7. I know this is probably a little late but sweetheart don't listen to that bitch. You're right she's ugly inside.
    I'm sorry about you and Molly but don't give up hope maybe one day she'll realize how stupid she's being. <3 feel better lovie
    20lbs is amazing congrats beautiful proud of you!!!!!!!

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  8. hey, i read it quite a bit but somehow it says i didnt follow though i thought i did. so, im following now! XD

    aww breakups are tough and in my opinion, forgive me if im too forward, but its extremely rude to argue via text even more to to have a break up through text! O.o im sorry hun.

    and ps- i read your last blog and that bitches comment, fuck her! she's probably just pissed cuz she gained weight or something. if your an emotional eater, your an emotional eater and it doesnt go away because of ana, in fact ana makes it harder because the guilt ways down 10x greater. so ya, fuck her!

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  10. Jodi? An Ana Goddess? Pish Posh! ahahahaha

    Next, i know break ups are hard. But obv. she cannot handle having an amazing girl like you!

    "Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. "

    Good luck girl. I'm here to talk if you need me, always. :) xoxoxoxoxo

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