If you don't drop all this bullshit, THIS is what you're going to look like by, oh, I don't know, New Year's? Is that what you want? You can eat your damn Bread Co. macaroni and cheese, your pretzels with cheese, your ice cream, but THIS is what it will do to you. It's a choice. Food or thin. Stop blaming it on your period, stop blaming it on what happened. I'm not even making you completely fast anymore; all I've asked of you is to eat ONE fucking meal a day.
I'm not angry, I'm disappointed. I've given you everything and you just throw it in my face when you pull shit like this. I want so much better for you. I want you to lose as much as possible by Monday so you can at least look less fat for the first day of band camp. I want you to build up your willpower so you can get away with eating less around Zack. Remember him? You cave in to his guilt-enducing stares. I need you to be stronger than that, Nikki. I just want the best for you. I just want you to be happy.
Remember your dream? I can get you there. Remember what thin feels like, because now you've gotten a taste. Nikki, you're stronger than you think. You're not a failure, but if you think you are, don't blog and whine about it. DO something about it. You can do anything if you just stick your mind to it. I have faith in you.
Please, just fast while you're with Molly today. Fake cramps, lie, just do whatever you can. Smoke to keep your appetite down. She's not suspicious, so she won't think a thing of it. It's all up to you now. Just be strong. I'll be right by your side the whole time, as I always am.
Good luck. Please, just do this one thing for me, and I will do so much for you.