Tuesday, February 23, 2010

its been far too long

and i have too much to say. i don't know where to start exactly. to sum it up though, i've found a new - and very effective - diet routine, this guy has been creeping on me, and me and my gf are no longer in an open relationship.

okay, first off, the diet. this is how it works:
morning: coffee at QT (8 oz black coffee + 8 oz cappachino -- i looked up the calorie contents of all the flavors)
during the day: celery, and sometimes carrots. i forced myself to start eating plain celery, and now i actually like the taste of it. it's perfect for me because i always crave munchie food, and this stuff actually BURNS calories while you're digesting it. each stalk burns approximately 54 cals.
dinner: i'm at home for dinner every night now since my mom's on maternity leave, so i mix a half package of flavored tuna with 1/3 cup of rice (makes about 2/3 cup cooked)

my body thinks i'm eating, the people around me think i'm eating, and i still run on less than 200 calories a day, and i still lose weight. it's perfect. i got down to my new LW of 146.5 with it, but i've gone up and back down a bit since then. currently at 147 after a gluttonous weekend.

now, let's just call this boy "tom." when things started with him, it was pretty typical. he's a nice guy, a pothead (aka a potential smoke buddy for me), and we just started talking in the same conversation with a couple other people during a biology lab. things progressed, and, me being pissed off about the open relationship bullshit with my girlfriend, i flirted back. when he asked for my number, i gave it to him. everything seemed alright.

now tom never leaves me alone during class or when he sees me in the halls OR when he texts me, he's overly flirtateous and pushy, and i recently found out that he just has a thing for girls who date girls because he "likes the challenge." fml.

at the moment, i'm just trying to blow him off and avoid him. molly has no clue about him, and i still flirt with jay at lunch (he still flirts back) (and he is not a creepy douschbag). i don't do confrontation, so if he doesn't take the hint i don't know how i'll get him to back off.

it seems like out of all the people who have liked me or who i've dated, the only ones who were not assholes, creeps, or annoying and weird as fuck are molly and jay. why is it the bad ones who like me? i guess being the fat girl i'm the best they think they can get?

we'll see where things go. everything will be different when i'm thin. :)

stay strong, think thin, live ana

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