have you guys ever heard "penholder" by flyleaf? i think it really relates to ana. there's one verse in particular that really relates to me, personally:
"i know what perfection is like,
but i cannot stand before its might,
and i am so far from what you think that i must be,
i just drown myself in mercy..."
i try so hard to reach perfection,
but i never get there.
i'm never good enough for anybody, even my girlfriend, who says i've changed since we started going out and it's making her fall out of love with me.
and i'm always too lenient on myself when it comes to dieting.
well this week is going to be different. i was doing so good last week until thursday, when i started thinking "oh, if i lost a pound and a half after eating nachos with molly on wednesday, surely i'll still lose weight if i eat lunch today and friday too." UGH. damn bulimia is making me too hungry all the time. it's gotten to the point that i have tiny scabs on my knuckles. i need to drop this. i need to use mia only in emergencies where i can't get out of eating, not as an excuse to break fasts and be a fucking pig.
on the plus side, i've found some new thinspiration. i'm not usually big on celeb thinspo but here it is, hayley williams from paramore: