Friday, October 23, 2009

thoughts

reading some blogs, i've noticed that a lot of my fellow anas i used to aspire to be, are now starting to abandon ana for good. if you're one of those girls reading this right now, i'm not angry with you, i'm not shunning you, i'm just... observing a trend. the thing is, i DON'T want to change, and i miss the support. i miss having those strong anas to look up to that i have now turned to books to find. i miss being able turn to an actual human being for advice when confronted with a sticky food situation. i miss talking to actual human being who follows the same lifestyle as me, who doesn't think that ana is a horrible, horrible disease. i miss the support.

however, i've noticed another trend. i've been getting a lot more followers and i wanna give a shoutout to you all. even if i don't subscribe back, i do check out your blogs now and then, and i really appreciate my fans!

well, here's my updates: i've been sick, which has made it harder to starve (because my body is craving the energy to fight off these stupid germs) and impossible to purge (sore throat + stomach acid = bad plan.). despite this, i've restricted enough this week (allowing myself only liquid calories to sooth my throat and veggies to fight the germs). this has been enough to lose a little, and after skipping lunch today i feel even lighter. who knows, maybe i'm finally back to the 150s! surely by sunday i will be. tonight i'm forced to eat at a big family dinner (which should be interesting considering my grandma and mom hate eachother atm), but tomorrow my marching competition is timed PERFECTLY to excuse me from eating the whole day.

my dad might be back on the night shift next week, meaning i won't be able to get online as often because i have no internet at home, meaning i won't be able to post as often. but i will get on whenever i can and update you all :)

wish me luck, girls!

stay strong, think thin, live ana
xoxoNikkioxox

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