Monday, October 19, 2009

Dear Nikki,

THE FUCK is wrong with you? all this hard work, all these days of starvation and these nights shivering under your sheets with the fan on full blast above you, everything wasted. how many times have you beaten yourself senseless, telling yourself how stupid you are for eating? how many times have you lost all this weight only to gain it right back? you just keep making excuses. well i'm not taking any of your crap. don't try to bull shit me because i'll throw it all in your face. you're a coward. you're WEAK. i give you everything and you give me nothing back...

i'm sorry. i'm so hard on you. i made you throw up that one tiny cookie this morning in german class, even though it tasted so strongly of acid, even though you already have a cough and sore throat. i just see such a bright future for you, for us. i want you to make it, nikki, but you're running out of time. every day counts now, if you want to make it to your december goal. please, nikki, i'm begging you, just stop eating. just stop!

love, ana

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