Saturday, August 1, 2009

YES! I FUCKING DID IT!

my goal was to lose 5 lbs by today. i lost 5.5! i'm very happy about this, but unfortunately it was under less than desirable circumstances. my gf, well, now a "sort of gf" have been having a lot of issues this week (i.e. she's been having a lot of issues) and we broke up tuesday. i did not eat until yesterday when i went to her house. it wasn't even out of desire to lose weight. it was because i completely lost my will to live. now all i can say is that it's really, really complicated, we're not completely together, but i'm happy.

i've told all my friends at band camp that i've gone vegan. this leaves me with only fruit and veggies to eat every day and at snack breaks i just say i'm not hungry. they don't even notice when i dont' eat. and wednesday, thursday and friday i ate absolutely nothing and they barely even tried to get me to eat something. it's so fucking easy. i feel myself getting lighter. and this is while i'm bloated from being on my period. so once that goes away i'll really dip down! i have two solid weeks left before school starts. hopefully i can keep this up and lose 10 lbs by then. i know this is unlikely, however, so my official goal is to be back in the 150s. this gives me at least 7 lbs to lose by then, or 3.5 lbs per week. easy. all it takes is a little self control.

someone asked what instrument i play in band, and it's flute (one of the hardest instruments to march with -- it takes more air to play than a tuba). i've been playing for 5 years.

i think that's it for now. i'm just trying to look on the brightside of this whole situation with my girl. it gives me an excuse. it gives me motivation. like i said before in one of my posts, when i'm skinny and hot, she'll never wanna let me go. i wanna be so thin that she HAS to stay, to keep me tethered to the ground so i don't float away.

stay strong, think thin, live ana
xoxoNikkioxox

1 comment:

  1. That's wonderful : D I'm so happy about the loss, although I'm sorry about your gf : ( I know what you mean about losing the will to live....
    My sister played flute in marching band ; )
    You will so make it to the 150s! We both will! ; D
    Stay strong <3

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