after 4 hours of sleep on my way to a 2 hour marching rehearsal i decided i needed the liquid coffee calories (260) just to function and the energy drink (280) to get me through the day afterwards. this is not as bad as it could be since they're only liquid cals, but still. i'm up 2 lbs after my bad weekend. i've decided that I DO NOT CARE about weekends anymore, i will NO LONGER ALLOW MYSELF ANY BREAKS besides planned "reward binges" when i reach "weight checkpoints" (every 10lbs). i need to tell myself this plan OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER this weekend so i don't gain back all my hard work during the week! ugh. i'm disgusted with myself. hopefully i'm down a pound since sunday morning. but probably not. fuck. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. well, at least i have cramps to blame for my "lack of appetite." and i know for a fact that if i play my cards right tomorrow i can water-fast, because i have evening rehearsal for band... wish me luck this week. i'll need it.
stay strong, think thin, live ana