Thursday, July 9, 2009

staying strong

this week has been great for the most part. i've been just bringing food into my room and chew/spitting it or just throwing it away. and yesterday i was forced into mcdonald's but i got a southwest salad (SO DELICIOUS!) and it was only 320 cals. not bad! i've been losing about 1.5 to 2 lbs every day. today's the last day of my semi-fast for this week, and hopefully i'll have control over myself tomorrow at my gf's house. summer gym has been doing me so good too. i can feel my body being pushed to the edge, teetering over. i almost blacked out when we ran the mile today, and everytime i get up too fast everything spins. but i love it. i can't get enough. as twisted as it is, i'm actually EXCITED for my first black out. because starving, it's like being on drugs, all the time.

on a different note, my mother, the cuntmuffin, who is 37 years old......... IS PREGNANT. i want to scream. i am in shock. i figured it out because i found "What to Expect When You're Expecting" in her car this morning. i am going to have a little brother or sister, probably with down syndrome or some problem because my mom is so old, and he/she will be 16 years younger than me. trying to look on the bright side.... it'll be a distraction from me losing weight and not eating. but i'm probably not going to even know the poor kid, because once i go to college in 2 years i'm never coming home. not unless my mom either leaves the house or dies. i want absolutely nothing to do with her after i leave.

It's due february 7. somebody hit me over the head with a shovel. PLEASE???

ok, sorry i went off on that tangent... i have a tip for purging: take a shower right after you eat whatever it is and throw up in a plastic bag in the shower. this works because the shower covers the noise, you won't clog any drains or worry about toilet water splashing in your face, and if you stand up it comes up so much better. just thought i'd share because i came up with it sunday when our toilet was broken after we went out for pizza and it worked perfectly for me.

i'm making a red beaded bracelet tonight. it's a really cool idea, giving us all a way to know who's a friend of ana and who's a foe. if you don't know what i'm talking about, check out the Red Bracelet page on Fading Obsession. It's in my new "Useful Links" list to your right -->

i'm also working on my own pro-ana site, with thinspo and tips/tricks, etc. but so far i haven't found a free site where i can make it that will let me upload the photos. i'll keep working on it and let you all know when it's up. hopefully it will have a forum too where you can post for advice and support.

stay strong, think thin, and one day you'll fly

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